Behind Closed Doors
by Izabella.Ray.Loraty
Summary: After Edward Left, instead of hanging out with a werewolf pack, Bella desides to start a band. How will this changed her future? Who will save her when no one is there? Will she ever see edward again?
1. Chapter 1

Behind closed doors.

Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything Stephanie Meyer does and in future chapters the songs are owned by the artist_.

"BELLA, you got my song ready or what," Mathew asked.

Uhhhhh, Mathew is so annoying. Doesn't he understand that if he wants Bella swan to write him a new song that he needs to give me time to write not 15 seconds. Well let me recap on what has happened in my life in the past year. So after _he_ left I was basically suicidal for 7 months, until Angela slapped me telling me to get a hold of myself and forget about him that my winning wasn't going to being him back and so she helped me get on with my life and forget about him.

First step was finding something to do with my time to forget about him. Angela is a wonderful pianist but of course no one could compare to my lost love, but she was very good for just learning how to play 3 years prior. She taught me how to play and she told me that I should write down my feelings in a journal every night. And so I did and one day about 3 weeks later I actually let her read it. The look one her face was priceless and that words that came out of her mouth a second later shocked me.

"This kind of sounds like a song that a band would play, you have a gift Bella."

But I stopped listening that because s0omething in her words shocked me and gave me a wonderful and exciting idea. A band. When I told Angela of my idea I though she was going to say something like that is a stupid idea I have ever heard but instead of the smart remark I was expecting she was actually thrilled with the idea.

So we proceeded in starting a band. Angela played the piano in our band and for some reason that no one know mike Newton had a hidden talent for playing the drums so he was all for being in our band. Of course since mike was in it Jessica Stanley was all for joining to, she played the guitar. well you are probably wondering where I come into the little show well I got stuck with lead singer because according to mike and Angela I have the voice of a angle. I also to my dismay got to write all of our songs.

We all practiced of weeks and weeks and in my opinion we actually got pretty good. Everything in my life basically got back to what it was like before I met _him_. Everything was going good until Angela said we had a gig, for the schools talent show.

_A/N: I don't know if I am going to proceed with this story it all depends on what all of you guys think._

_Please review and tell me what you think __**I love criticism**_

_So long,_

_Izzyray _


	2. Chapter 2

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything!_

I looked at Angela as if she had 3 heads.

"I'm sorry I must have heard you wrong did you say the school talent show?"

"You heard me, we are so good, now all we have to do is get out there and show everyone," Angela answered as if it was an everyday situation.

"I can't do that, I'm not ready," I stuttered out

"Bella you sing great when we are in my garage, we need this, YOU need this. It will help you so much get over Edward. Just get out there and express your feeling through singing, you have a beautiful voice, now show everyone."

I flinched at hearing his name, I had been trying so hard to forget about him. When I sang I could express how I felt in a different way, a way that made me feel almost whole again. Sometimes when I was singing with the band I just wish he was here so he could here what he did to me. Maybe he would understand that without him I am nothing. But I had to admit singing did help me a little and it was all thanks to Angela. Maybe I could just do this for her since she helped me come back from the dead.

"We need a name first," was my only reply.

"Oh my gosh Bella, trust me you wont regret this," she ran over and gave me a hug.

_The next day: Saturday: Talent show_

The next day Angela and Jessica came over 3 hours before the show so we could get ready together. I could tell that Jessica wasn't exactly thrilled to be here or even in the band at all, she was just there for Mike. But I have to admit without her our band wouldn't be complete.

Angela curled my hair slightly at the ends so it came down in spiral curls down my back. And she put in light makeup with heavy eyeliner so it looked more like we were in a band. We each died a streak in our hair a different color just for fun, mine was red, Angela's was blue, and Jessica's was pink.

While Jessica and Angela were applying there makeup I looked through my closet for something to wear. I had to find a dress since that was what Angela and Jessica were wearing. I came upon a black strapless dress with a bow on the left side. I remember Alice insisted on getting this for me, she said I would need it in the near future. Guess she was right.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When we arrived at the school we were running a little late since Mike was running late picking all of us up from my house. We ran as fast as we could to the back of the stage and just as we were arriving Mr. Towns was announcing us. We all got into our places and I went up to the front to start singing. I was going to sing a song I wrote about Edward after he left me months ago, when I was still broken and hurt. Tonight Angela was going to play the violin since this song had no piano in it.

"Hey everyone, we are Behind Closed Doors," I announced as everyone was getting ready to start

Jessica and Angela started there part on the guitar and violin.

Forgive, sounds good  
Forget, I'm not sure I could  
They say time heals everything  
But I'm still waiting 

Mike started at this point in the song

I'm through with doubt  
There's nothing left for me to figure out  
I've paid a price  
And I'll keep paying 

Jessica and Angela sang with me at this point in the song

I'm not ready to make nice  
I'm not ready to back down  
I'm still mad as hell and  
I don't have time to go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
'Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should 

I know you said  
Can't you just get over it  
It turned my whole world around  
And I kind of like it 

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby  
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'  
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her  
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger  
And how in the world can the words that I said  
Send somebody so over the edge  
That they'd write me a letter  
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing  
Or my life will be over 

I'm not ready to make nice  
I'm not ready to back down  
I'm still mad as hell and  
I don't have time to go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
'Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should 

I'm not ready to make nice  
I'm not ready to back down  
I'm still mad as hell and  
I don't have time to go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
'Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should 

Forgive, sounds good  
Forget, I'm not sure I could  
They say time heals everything  
But I'm still waitin

As we finished and everyone was cheering and clapping for us like crazy I could have sworn I saw a flash of bronze. Maybe it was just a flick of the light or was it.

_A/N: Hey everybody it is me again thanks so much for the reviews but I want to get at least 10 before I post the next chapter. This is my first fan fiction so I would love to hear what you think. I will try to update tomorrow, but it all depends on how fast I can type. If you have any ideas for the next chapter I would love to hear them._

_So long,_

_Izzyray_


	3. Chapter 3

Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 3

Edward. Could it of been him? No, that was impossible, he said that would be the last time I would see him. As if he didn't exist. But I could still hope couldn't I. Snap out of it Bella, he left you, he doesn't love you. You were just a distraction. I was so focused on having an inner battle with myself that I wasn't watching where I was going, I ran face first into someone and fell straight into the floor. _Ouch!_

"Are you alright?" he looked to be about 45 years old at least, with dark brown hair and blue eyes, almost an older and male version of Angela.

"Yes, I'm sorry I should have been watching where I was going, I guess I was just a bit distracted," I gave a little laugh

"Oh well that quite alright," He stuck out his hand "Jonathon Weber, I'm Angela's uncle"

"Bella swan, very nice to meet you."

"Well Ms. Swan, I have been traveling all around the country trying to find new and hidden talent, and I never find anything wroth signing, but when I come to my home town to visit my family, I just happen to find the most incredible amateur band I have heard in a long time."

"I told you we needed this," I didn't notice that Angela was standing a foot behind me. So this is what this whole talent show gig had been about.

"You knew," I accused

She put her hands up in surrender but it didn't look genuine when she had a smirk on her face. Jessica and mike came up behind us to see what the commotion was about.

" I would like all of you to come up to Seattle this weekend so we can talk and maybe even get you guys signed" he handed me his card and just waked off .

What just happened???

_Seattle: MCC Corp. Head office_

Angela led us through the enormous building as if she lived there and knew where everything. She didn't bother knocking when we reached Jonathon's office, which just happened to be on the top floor. He most be really big in this business I thought to myself when I saw his enormous office, it was like 5 times the size of my bedroom.

"Welcome everybody, lets just get down to business and cut the chit chat. I want to sign you. Your band is new and refreshing and I love Ms. Swan's voice. I think that you are what the youth now a days needs. All we have to do is a quick performance for some of my fellow co workers and then if all goes well we can sign on the dotted lines. How does that sound?"

I was in shock. Wow, this guy doesn't waste time at all "Okay" is the only thing to come to mind at that very moment. So we all walked down to flights of stairs to go do a quick performance for about 30 people. Angela and I we discussing what song we were going to play, we needed to do a song that will blow there socks off.

When we walked into the studio, we all went straight to get into our places when I was all ready I looked at the audience. There were a little more the 30 people, more like 30 plus 150. I started to get nervous watching all the people watch me. I took a deep breath and started.

sometimes i find myself sittin' back and reminiscing  
especially when i have to watch other people kissin'  
and i remember when you started callin' me your miss's  
all the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses  
i'd tell you sad stories about my childhood  
i dont why i trusted you but i knew that i could  
we'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt  
i was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

(chorus)  
dreams, dreams  
of when we had just started things  
dreams of you and me  
it seems, it seems  
that i can't shake those memories  
i wonder if you have the same dreams too.

the littlest things that take me there  
i know it sounds lame but its so true  
i know its not right, but it seems unfair  
that the things are reminding me of you  
sometimes i wish we could just pretend  
even if for only one weekend  
so come on, tell me  
is this the end?

drinkin' tea in bed  
watching dvd's  
when i discovered all your dirty grotty magazines  
you take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers  
as if we ever needed anything to entertain us  
the first time that you introduced me to your friends  
and you could tell i was nervous, so you held my hand  
when i was feeling down, you made that face you do  
no one in the world that could replace you

(chorus)  
dreams, dreams  
of when we had just started things  
dreams of me and you  
it seems, it seems  
that i can't shake those memories  
i wonder if you feel the same way too

the littlest things that take me there  
i know it sounds lame but its so true  
i know its not right, but it seems unfair  
that the things remind me of you  
sometimes i wish we could just pretend  
even if for only one weekend  
so come on, tell me  
is this the end?

After we finished they were all clapping like crazy, we all couldn't stop smiling. Jonathon led us all back into his office and brought out the papers. We all read them over and everyone signed them but me. Was I ready for my life to change dramatically? Yes, I was. so I signed on the dotted line.

xIsabella Swan

That little signature changed my life forever.

A/N: Hey everyone

well there is the 3rd chapter, it took me some time to write so I don't know if I will have another chapter up today, but I will have one up by 3 o'clock my time tomorrow ( I live in Oregon),

The song is

The littlest things by lily Allen

I need at least 10 more reviews before I post again

So long

Izzyray


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

Behind closed doors

_Four months later_

So many events having clouded us in the past four months that I am shocked we even had time to sleep. Jonathon had us doing so many things so that we could get noticed by the public eye. We went to random high schools and did free shows just so kids our age would get to know us and maybe by our CD that would be coming out in 2 weeks 3 days and 19 hours, not that I was counting or anything. We I told Charlie of what happened and how I was in a band and was going to be famous he just was standing there with a shocked expression on his face, but then he said that he was proud of me and that he supported me 100 percent. So 3 days later Jonnie as everyone knows calls him got us an agent and bucked a bus and that's where our careers began.

Our Manger's name was Mathew and he was a total ass to us at first until Jessica and me got him drunk, he seemed to warm up to us after that. It turns out that Jessica can like someone besides mike, and it is one guy about 6 '5, with dirty blond hair and green eyes, the bad news he just happened to be Mathew. It was hard at first considering it was the 5 of us in a bus, but we all got used to all of Jessica's and Mathew non stop kissing. Can you say YUCK!

So that's Takes us back to the present where Mathew is yelling at me telling me that we need to get a new song made before we do another free show to a high school in Montana.

"Matt, you need to chill I finished it about a hour ago, ok, god damn, Angie how long tell we get there?"

"About 15 minutes" she yelled from the front seat of the bus

"Hey Mike?"

"Yea," He said it kind of like he was scared to know what I was going to ask, in the past couple of weeks the two of us have been know to do some pretty stupid stuff in the small bus we currently occupy.

"Do you want to do something fun?"

" Even if I say no you are still going to make me do it aren't you," now he was defiantly scared, If I hadn't ended up breaking his ankle 3 weeks ago he probably would be all for my idea but since I did I guess I will go easy on him.

"Do you want to sit up on the top of the bus with me when we pull up to the school?"

He sighed, "Sure"

I snickered

_At the show_

"Hey Hellgate high school, how are you guys doing tonight" screams erupted from the crowd

I laughed, "Ok, well I'm Bella, The two girls on the guitars are Jessica and Angie, and the guy on the drums with the hot pink cast that's my partner in crime, Mike."

"This is all around me"

My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe

I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed

I laughed as the crowd screamed out name, "Well let's turn it up a little bit" I yelled

Telling Layla's story spoken  
bout how all her bones are broken  
Hammers fall on all the pieces  
Two months in the cover creases

Here she stands today  
In her Brilliant Shining Way

Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life  
Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life

All my complaints shrink to nothing,  
I'm ashamed of all my somethings  
She's glad for one day of comfort  
Only because she has suffered... 

Her she stands today  
In her Brilliant Shining way

Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life  
Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life

Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life  
Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life

Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life  
Fully alive,  
More than most, ready to smile, and love life

I turned kind of sad after performing that song. I wrote it about a girl I met at another school a couple of weeks ago, and she had a really hard life. It made me ashamed to even be sad about my love leaving.

"Ok guys this is out last song"

Angela went up to the piano and winked at me. the song I was about to sing was a song Angela made me write of what I would do if he ever came back. I laughed lightly to myself and winked back at her.

When you first left me I was wanting more  
But you were fucking that girl next door, what ja do that for?  
When you first left me I didn't know what to say  
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then  
But with a little help from my friends  
I found a light in the tunnel at the end  
Now you're calling me up on the phone  
So you can have a little whine and a moan  
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first, when I see you cry,  
it makes me smile, it makes me smile.  
At worst, I feel bad for a while,  
But then I just smile,  
I go ahead and smile.

Whenever you see me you say that you want me back  
And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack  
I couldn't stop laughing, no I just could help myself  
See you messed up my mental health, I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then  
But with a little help from my friends  
I found a light in the tunnel at the end  
An' now you're calling me up on the phone  
So you can have a little whine and a moan  
An' it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,  
It makes me smile, it makes me smile  
At worst I feel bad for a while,  
But then I just smile, I go ahead and smile

At first when I see you cry, (when I see you cry)  
it makes me smile, it makes me smile (it makes me smile)  
At worst I feel bad for a while, (I feel bad for a while)  
But then I just smile ( But then I just smile, I go ahead and smile...)

_That Night: _

"Bella are you sure you don't want to come with us, it will be tons of fun and plus you haven't been out in god knows how long"

Everyone was going out tonight to a club that Matt says he could get us in but I was in a crummy mood thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the one year since when he left. I just felt like being alone and maybe go for a walk later.

"No it's alright guys I just feel like being alone," I answered quietly

"Okay bells, we will be back to later the one okay," Angela was always so sweet.

"Okay have fun"

An hour before after they left I found myself really bored. I sighed I could go for a walk even though it was about 11 o'clock at night. So I put on my coat and started walking down a long road. About a half hour later it was almost pitch black and I was totally and incredibly lost. I started to get little scared. I just kept walking thinking that I might run into someone that can help me find my way,

Know more then 5 minutes later did I feel someone come up behind me and cover my mouth with there hand and grab me from behind. The person put something up to my neck.

"If you say a word you will die you got it" I nodded quickly, "good now this wont take long baby doll"

The man kissed my check the then I felt something prick me in the arm that kind of felt like a needle. I started to get really sleepy and I felt the man dragging me away and that was that last thing I felt before everything went black.

A/N: sorry for not updating in a while, I got kind of busy so I decided that I would give you a long chapter to make up for it.

15 Reviews before I update

If want to fine out what happened to Bella I need a review

So long

Izzyray


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: okay I continued for you guys but I need reviews this time…

Okay the song in this chapter is when your gone by Avril l.

I suggest you listen while you read…. 

So long…

Chapter 5: Behind Closed Doors

I woke up to the sound of beeping noises and whispers all around me. I could have sworn I just got a really bad case of déjà vu. I opened my eyes and saw Jessica in the corner of the hospital room yelling at Matt. I just kept staying at them hoping that one of them would notice that I was awake and explain why the hell I was in the hospital. When that didn't work I coughed really loud. That got there attention.

"Bella," Angela ran over to me and gave me a hug "I am so happy that you are alright, you scared the heck out of me."

"What happened? Why am I here?" my voice was really weak.

"Oh Bella I'm so sorry, we were out when we got a call from the hospital telling us you were here. When we got here the doctor explained to us that you were raped and the guy hit you in the head with something. The doctors don't know much just what the two men and short girl told them when they brought you in." She said all of this with a very sad look on her face.

"Oh," I couldn't think of anything better to say about the information I had just gotten.

I just sat in the hospital bed for the rest of the day thinking about what had happened. Why was I still being so irresponsible and doing reckless when I didn't have him here to save me anymore. I can't keep thinking about him everyday for the rest of my life it will only make it even harder to get over him. I just need to tell him goodbye. And get over him like he wanted me to, I was just a distraction.

I still love though with all my heart and I can't see myself ever finding anyone else that will ever fill that whole that is threatening to break open with every memory or though of him. I just need to forget. But it isn't that simple, my life has no meaning with out him.

I just need to dive myself into my music, and stop writing songs about my lost love that I will never get over in anyway. Just one more song before it all ends. All the memories and thought and everything about him out of my life. At the last word it all disappears. Edward disappears.

I sat down at my piano in my studio space in Seattle. This is the first place I went when I was released from the hospital. I just needed to do this and start my life over. My hands traced over the keys, remembering everything about him for the last time before it all disappears forever. I put my hands on the keys and started singing.

I always needed time on my own,  
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cried.  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,  
And the bed where you lie,  
Is made up on your side.

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
When you're gone,  
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you.

I've never felt this way before,  
Everything that I do,  
Reminds me of you.  
And the clothes you left,  
They lie on the floor,  
And they smell just like you,  
I love the things that you do!

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
And when you're gone,  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you.

We were made for each other,  
Out here forever,  
I know we were,  
Yeah Yeah!  
All I ever wanted was for you to know,  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul,  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me...  
Yeah!

When you're gone,  
The pieces of my heart are missing you!  
When you're gone,  
The face I came to know is missing too!  
When you're gone,  
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...  
And make it OK...  
I miss you!

I hit the last note and wiped away the lat tear that will ever fall for him. I heard soft clapping in the background and I turned around to see who was there but when I looked behind me no one was there. 


	6. Chapter 8

Hey everybody,

Hey everybody,

Sorry it has taken so long to update!!

I have a chapter ready and waiting.

I was just thinking how much easier it would be if I could find someone that would be willing to check grammar and stuff before I put update stories. I just need my personal beta….. Well if you are willing to do that then could to review on this with your email address….. Now I need someone that checks there email a lot, and has some free time….. I will be willing to give you credit for all your hard work

'

let me no,

Izzyray


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